Eating Crow and Meeting the Top Dog

Those of you who know me know that one of my mantras over the past ten-plus years has been, “You can’t change the system.” To which I would always add, “You can only change yourself.” It is time for me to eat crow, which according to Wikipedia, implies humiliating myself after “being proven wrong after taking a strong position.” OK … wouldn’t be the first time that has happened. I have, after all, been around the block a few times.

But … enough of the humiliation thing. What I now realize is that we, as individuals, are systems! Thus, when we change ourselves, we are making a system change (and, hopefully, a system uprgrade).

As a system, humans are rather fascinating. Like all systems, we have components which are , in and of themselves, systems. Heart, lungs, and brain are systems within the body system. Our thoughts, beliefs, and values are also components of the system. In the past three years, I've done advanced, leading edge coach training with several individuals related to systems.

One of those individuals, Rachel Conerly, is the author of The Collaborative Operating System^TM , a simple but brilliant antidote to the old hierarchical system in which we are so completely, and largely unconsciously, immersed. The hierarchy is like the white elephant in the room … we don’t talk about it, but we rail and flail against it. Whether on the global stage with riots in the Middle East, on the local political scene with wars of words, or around the water cooler in the workplace, there is resistance to what is and longing for something better.

One of the things that I've gotten super clear on is that each of us, as human beings, is a system operating within larger and larger systems. The impact of this interplay of systems is profound. From a hierarchical perspective, there is always a top dog. In organizations, this is “the boss” who often has a boss, who also has a boss, and so on.

Individually, there is often a top dog as well … a part of us that is in control or dominates much of the time. For many of my clients, I’ve labeled their top dog as their “should-er.” For them, should’s are in charge: I should get this report done, I should spend more time with my family, I should get some rest, I should be a volunteer. Their should-er is running their lives.

On a personal level, my top dog for the past couple of years has been focused on writing a book. It has the working title, “The Boss and Me and the System Makes Three." I look forward to sharing more about that with you in the future.